This meme shook something in me. We’ve all seen it and maybe even said it. This time I experienced an Ah-Ha moment.
Why do adults respond this way? How did we lose our childlike fascination with the smorgasbord of options being an adult offers us? Why did we allow ourselves to be buried in a pile of cynicism and jaded view? Big questions. Until I started working through why this small, cynical, jaded string of words struck a chord in me this time, I never realized I’d been working on this for 30 years, pecking away at societal expectations, familial expectations, personal expectations so that I could live my authentic life and attempt to instill that way of being into my children. This meme opened the curtain for me to peer inside to the niggle that caught my attention. What I found was a bumpy path of bucking the system most of my adult life. Finding my core strength to stand up and say Enough! to all of the things that sucked the life out of me and my children. It started with baby steps and evolved into an almost instant knowing of what lights me up with joy, excitement, inspiration, and love. This path restored my childlike excitement for the smorgasbord of options this life offers. I rarely say no anymore because I have freed up committed time to things that do not serve me.
This brings me to the second reckoning this exploration brought me.
Let me start with this; trust me when I say I was not the perfect parent. I stumbled my way through raising 2 kids who by Divine grace and my best efforts are kind, contributing adults. I have questioned how, but have learned to accept that they just are, no need to question it.
I tell you this because I feel that the way we are raising our children, needs serious consideration. If our children are so eager to become an adult what does that say about their childhood? What are they experiencing that they want sovereign control over their life? Are we implementing to many rules? Do we need to turn off our helicopter tendencies and let our children make choices and experience the consequences? Is our expectation and often verbalized “just grow up!” resonating in a way that implies we do not want them to be children for long?
My best advice is this:
1. Choose your battles, not everything requires aggressive parental response.
2. Ditch 90% of your rules. You will be happier and so will your kids.
3. Let them decide, even if you know better. Choices help them figure out life on their own, and isn’t that the point, to have them grow up to be capable adults.
4. If it doesn’t light them up let it go, let them be a child.
5. Quit over scheduling them. See #4.
6. Play. You. Get down in it. Show them how you like to relax.
7. Ditch the expectations that don’t serve you or your family. Yes. You can.
8. You can choose. For you. For your family. You have unlimited choices. Let go of self-imposed limitations.
9. Revisit things you liked to do as a child. Can’t think of any? Take a turn at what the children in your life like to do.
10. Love. Your. Life. We have such a short time here, we owe it to ourselves to make this go’round The Best Day Evah!! (My grandson’s go-to phrase when he is doing something he’s never done before).
Thank you for sticking with me through this one. It was a bit of unpacking old beliefs and recognizing that I got this. And you can have it too. Click here for a Spiritual Guidance and Exploration consultation call.
Peace & Love,
Sarah
6/29/2020