Numerology & My Math Trauma

The math struggle is real for many of us. I remember the humiliation that caused my trauma and fear of math. It was third grade, my math teacher called me out for not grasping the higher multiplication tables. He said I was holding up the entire class. That one brief, off the cuff comment was humiliating and has affected many areas of my life, but this is about numbers and math.

The remainder of my K-12 experience was not a fun math experience. I mercy passed the bare essentials. My last math class, the instructor realized I was transposing numbers in almost every problem. Dyslexia wasn’t a thing yet. I did double the work as he would circle the ones that were jumbled and let me fix them, so I could get a decent enough grade to graduate high school. Bless that teacher for giving me a glimmer of hope.

I was not eager to repeat the math trauma at the college level. I put it off. I have attended college off and on for the better part of 30 years. It wasn’t until the very last year that I tackled the math requirements. I was still intimidated and afraid. I passed! With a B average grade! It took ALOT of work, tutors, and Khan Academy to get those grades. I was proud of myself and it opened my eyes. Traveling the college math road I realized how often we use numbers in everyday life. My trauma and subsequent phobia of math disappeared. I made my peace. I still have to double check my work and remind myself that I can do this math stuff, but not nearly as often. Peace was made and numbers started to show me their magic.

This week I obtained my certification in Numerology! It is fun. It is intriguing. It is math! And I pursued it with no thought of having to do math, to manipulate numbers. It was purely the amazing way numbers show up in every moment that intrigued me into taking the course. It was during my final test chart, as I dug through a pile of scratch paper to find my notes, I was reminded of my college math year. I smiled and patted myself on the back. Oh the paths we take when we get out of our own way.