They are Your Mirror
I have always hated this statement. I have been in relationships with people who turn out to be judgmental, racist, chronically angry and depressed, unmotivated, shallow, vain, unwilling to learn or take action, substance abusers, and immersed in victim mentality.
I have honestly resented “spiritual” teachers, mentors, and even memes that say the person is my mirror or mirroring back to me what I’m putting out energetically or physically. Maybe I just needed to think about it another way. Or maybe I just plain misunderstood the true meaning of what mirroring is?
Mirror Image, definition from Merriam-Webster:
a: something that has its parts reversely arranged in comparison with another similar thing or that is reversed with reference to an intervening axis or plane
b: the direct opposite
Mirroring is the behavior in which one person unconsciously imitates the gesture, speech pattern, or attitude of another. Mirroring often occurs in social situations, particularly in the company of close friends or family. The concept often affects other individuals’ notions about the individual that is exhibiting mirroring behaviors, which can lead to the individual building rapport with others.
Mirroring is the subconscious replication of another person’s nonverbal signals.
Given these definitions, is it possible to flip the script on this mirror image business and see it from another perspective? What if they are reflecting your triggers? Things, actions, or ways of being that You judge and find lacking. Maybe these are ways of being that frighten you, deep inside, they are ways of being we have to reject for self-preservation? Maybe they are ways of being from another lifetime that need to be healed, even if you are not living them out in the here-and-now.
Or maybe people with these types of issues who have low energy vibe are drawn to you because of your higher energy vibe. Your goodness. Your way of being that appears so effortless and happy. You are the light in their dark. Whether they recognize it or not.
These scenarios are food for thought. If you know you are not a victim or unwilling to learn or angry and depressed then finding another answer is key. These people are not your mirror. The current socially and spiritually touted definition of mirroring is cruel and keeps you locked in self-doubt; keeping you from mental and spiritual growth.
Let go of feeling like you are not enough because of the people drawn to you. Yes, make better decisions, make better personal boundaries and don’t break them, but for goodness sake, Do Not take on another person’s darkness because you were told they are your mirror. That’s not mirroring. It’s toxic. It’s a shortcut allowing teachers and mentors off the hook when they can’t or don’t want to assist you in understanding your inner self.
For me, if mirroring is mentioned in this negative way, it is a red flag, a stop-don’t-go-there when looking for my next class or teacher.
Mirroring can be a complicated mental issue or signal you are being played. Rarely. Most often, it is exactly as Merriam-Webster and the good folks contributing to Wikipedia have said, a normal subconscious socialization technique that we all do, a form of mimicry that brings feelings of closeness and social acceptance.
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Peace & Love,
Four Directions Alchemy
Spiritual Guidance and Exploration Coach
Multidimensional Energy Healer