I’ve been thinking a lot about manifesting lately, not in the ritual, mantra, vision-board sense, but in a very practical, down-to-earth way.
More like: pay attention to what you say when you’re not trying to sound intentional.
Last week, I had an uncomfortable experience that ended up teaching me something useful.
I was cold-approached by another life coach through Facebook Messenger. Friendly. Chatty. Lots of rapport-building. Then the inevitable: “We should get together. Let’s do a call.”
I was direct. I said if this was a sales call, I wasn’t interested. I’ve already committed to my growth for the year and don’t have space for another coach.
She assured me it was just networking.
It wasn’t.
Once we were on the call, the conversation slowly turned. Questions became probing. Observations became conclusions. And then—right on cue—she went for the hard press.
At one point, I used a phrase I’ve said a hundred times before:
“They won’t pay that much.”
She jumped on it immediately.
“Who’s they?”
And then came the rest:
This is why you’re not successful.
This is why you’re not meeting your potential.
This is you thinking too small.
This is self-sabotage.
To be fair—my buttons were pressed. Anyone’s would be. The delivery mattered. The intent mattered. And the lack of nuance mattered.
But the question itself stuck.
Not because she asked it.
Because a week later, it answered itself.
Here’s what I realized:
When I say they, I’m not talking about one person.
I’m not even talking about a specific group.
I’m talking about everyone.
“They” flattens reality.
It erases difference.
It turns a complex world into a single, immovable mass.
When I say:
“They won’t buy.”
“They don’t come in.”
“They don’t understand.”
I’m not observing a pattern.
I’m declaring a rule.
And when the rule applies to everyone, there’s nowhere to move.
I’ve seen this dynamic long before I ever thought about it in terms of manifesting.
In group settings, generalized messages almost never land where they’re intended.
A leader will stand in front of a team and say something like:
“I need everyone to be more mindful about how this is being handled.”
And almost without fail, everyone internally responds:
I do that. They must be talking about someone else.
The person the message was actually meant for doesn’t hear it.
The people already doing the work absorb unnecessary pressure.
Nothing changes.
Because no one feels specifically addressed.
Generalized communication creates distance.
Specific communication creates movement.
It’s easier to speak to “everyone.”
It’s cleaner—and more effective—to speak to someone.
The same thing happens internally.
When I speak to myself in vague, sweeping language, nothing shifts.
When I get precise—about who, when, and under what conditions—things change.
The problem isn’t that “they” is negative.
The problem is that it’s unspecific.
And unspecific language quietly sabotages us.
Not because it’s pessimistic.
But because it removes precision.
Once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it.
So I’m catching myself in real time—not to reframe, spin, or stay positive—but to get accurate.
Instead of “they,” I’m asking:
Who, specifically?
Which people?
In what context?
Under what conditions?
Suddenly, the world has texture again.
Some people aren’t my clients.
Some people aren’t ready.
Some people want a bargain.
Some people want depth.
That’s not failure.
That’s clarity.
And clarity creates options.
I’m not interested in manifesting by pretending everything is possible.
I am interested in manifesting by telling the truth precisely.
This feels like the start of something worth paying attention to.
Not a mindset hack.
Not a motivational exercise.
Just a quiet commitment to stop speaking in ways that collapse the world into a dead end.